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Goodbye, Summer Of Dread

from As If Unsick by Funhausen

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lyrics

It was as hot a morning as August in Florida could muster. The day before I had borrowed my dad’s VW van, and she and I drove around trying to find a place to live. We had used up all alternatives, all of our few remaining friends’ couches, all hesitant hospitality. No place would have us; even the proprietors of the end-of-the-line trailer parks on the outskirts of town refused us on sight, with our dyed hair and thrift store clothes. An exercise in futility from the start, particularly since we didn't have any money.

“Where to?” my dad asked when we picked him from work at the the university to return the car in the late afternoon. “The fucking mission,” I said with scalding resentment. His face sank. I was destroying him with my endless bullshit.

My dad had a deep streak of sentimental empathy, and he quietly drove us to a cheap hotel on the lonely streets of the east end. He paid for one night. We bought some food, and then I went out and walked from store to store breaking food stamps so I could buy a pack of cigarettes. You could still do that then. I tossed and turned in the hotel bed that night, not knowing where we and her very young daughter would go in the morning.

Just after dawn, we scraped together enough change to take a bus to her parents’ house. Her stepmother had told us not to bother asking for any more help, but we did anyway. She still had some pity left, and drove us over to a run-down two story wood frame overseen by an emaciated, chain-smoking old lady she knew. The rooms were divided into multiple apartments, most of which were taken by groups of people perhaps worse off than us. An apartment was available with fake wood paneling the color of cheap pine coffins for $100 a month. Her stepmother paid it, and that was where we would live for about four months. Rats scurried under the beds at night, and the power would invariably go off in the entire house when she turned on her hair dryer.

Years later, I left that scene, that heat, that town. Now I am scarred, healed, and enlightened.

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from As If Unsick, released July 24, 2021

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Funhausen Atlanta, Georgia

Funhausen is Sean Moore's living project. Past efforts include Blind The Thin King, Lid Emba, & Bold Ashes. Sean knows a bastard when he hears one.

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